Today (April 27) is the anniversary of my brother’s death (pictured left). He was killed in a car accident ten years ago.
Anniversaries like these have a way of making us pause – to reflect, to remember, to take stock of the good in life that we experience. It makes us realise that life, like a candle’s flame, can be snuffed out with one fatal blow.
My brother and I were close and regularly worked on each other’s projects. After the initial shock wore off from the news of his death, grief set in. I learned that grief has her own agenda. There are no time frames, no right or wrong ways to grieve. I also learned to allow grief to flow and not to suppress it. Grief over a period of time cleansed and healed me.
One of the significant realisations through this grief period was that I was better off celebrating his life rather than remaining in the mourning of his death for, after all, we had shared 38 years together. That was a change point. Grief took me through the loss and then pointed me to his life – the rich life we had shared together, particularly in the years prior to his departure.
I never forgot this lesson and since that time, with various other losses I have experienced, I have remembered to celebrate life in death.