The Shadow of the Shoulds

May 4, 2015 10:28 pm

“I should do this.”

“I ought to do that.”

“I need to be better.”

“What will they think?”

“I’m a failure.”

We are too often driven by the external voices of the shoulds. Others expectations, examples set by role models, obligations. Then, if we are the perfectionist type, we never quite get there and beat the crap out of ourselves through negative self talk. Ever striving – never making it.

On the other hand, running free – motivated from within not from without is a genuinely free place to live.

One allows us the freedom to try and fail, ever increasing in our progress. The other binds us up; hinders advancement and creates unease and unhappiness. One is about self motivation – living intrinsically out of who we are. The other is living to others expectations which can include the perfectionist within.

Much better to run in the clear light of day than in the shadows of the shoulds.